Here at OLDL we were disappointed that we might have to sit through the dreadfulness that is "El Cantante" to soak up our own off-white version of summer overacting, fauxdorableness, and scriptlessness. Which is to say, a Latina "License to Wed."
GRACIAS A DIOS, J-Lo once again saves our collective soul by coming out with an inspired video for her second single (si, she has an album out), "Me Haces Falta." We have told her, lately, that we love her.
Us Weekly has learned Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are doing a joint national tour. Launching this fall – after the August 3 release of their film "El Cantante" – the road show will feature the spouses singing in large arenas around the country. "They each will do their own Spanish and English songs and duet."
Papi, that sounds dreadful. J-Lo: que hiciste? Las Latinas are surely stealing some front-row tickets, but we admit that we'd have more fun watching cockfights. It's not like we haven't seen iguana-like animals grab a massive ass before.
In other news, this "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie has no other option save bombing at the box-office. (We hope?)
The poster hints at how cleverness was sacrificed for Jason Lee's salary. For one, Theodore - the one who used to be gay and always wore the green outfit - now reminds us of Turtle from Entourage. Are we not entertained? Yep, we ain't.
How appropriate! Today's Puerto Rican Day Parade in NYC coincided with this weekend's L.A. Pride Festival.
Ricky, sadly, couldn't make it to both. But at least he sacrificed himself by hiding his true hottness under *gaspy* facial hair and a wife-beater dating back to "West Side Story," all to build (from afar) queeny self-esteem in the City of Gay-Chubby Angels.
Oh, and J-Lo was also around. Hopefully she didn't shatter any Fifth Ave. store displays!
La la la, cha cha cha: SUPER CALIENTE! Jennifer Lopez is the "guest coach" tonight on a Latin(a)-themed American Idol.
Las Latinas cannot wait, obvi. Will La J-Lo teach Eyebrows Menudo how to shake it like Ricky Martin? Can our Melinda Doolittle sing AND balance a pineapple on her head? Perhaps Blake will crawl on all fours and drink from a Mojito helmet?
The anticipation is killing us.
(Unrelated: J-Lo's first Spanish album, "Como Ama Una Mujer," sold 49,452 copies. The album finished at No. 10 for the week, behind a repackaging of Elton John's greatest hits.)
Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX
Oof. What can we say?? We know the Brazilian rainforest is in danger, and that your attempt at bringing attention to that eco-emergency is noble (Andy Cooper would be proud). But this cannot stand.
Are you still, you still,
Jenny from the cockfight?
(Gossip Rocks)
