No es Bueno: Sarah Jessica Parker

Even though we felt like the uno, dos, tres...catorce chicas had thrown a party and forgotten to invite us time and again, Sex and the City was a show we enjoyed. Not a hint of color in sight, but enough wordplay and hot male ass to pass the night.

Moreover, it provided Christina Aguilera with a real chance to shine:



With that said, Las Latinas shall *not* permit Sarah Jessica Parker to celebrate the show's big-screen debut by invoking the spirit of Robo-Matriarch XVII. The shoes and purse are pretty, but SJP's dress recalls the most expensive comforter at our local Bed Bath & Beyond.

If this is by Valentino, we need more moonlight. ASAP.

The only girl that wants to have fun while wearing this disaster is married to our Dunce-in-Chief.

Xtiny

Apparently, July 4th also celebrates independence from a stretch mark-less body: Christina Aguilera is preggers. She joins Ms. Richie in skinny motherhood. The presumed father is not hott.

We thought the father might be Robin Williams, but we were confused by his f*cking something else entirely: John Krasinski's movie career.

(Thanks to Will.i.tran for the baby name.)