Phoning It In

After two-and-a-half years together, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have split. The 26-year-old actress broke up with Warren, a 28-year-old producer, last week over the phone, sources tell Usmagazine.com. Sources say that Alba, who was abroad over the weekend promoting "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer", called Warren on July 22 and told him, "I'm not in love with you anymore."

Within hours, Alba had dispatched an assistant to the L.A. home they shared to pack up Warren's belongings and move him out.

Jessica has always been too hott for Cash, so his Yalie ass ain't getting any pity from us. Our honey is one of the worst - and thus luckiest - actresses in Hollywood today, and she doesn't need a bloated version of Every Other Guy keeping her down.

Latinas come first. Always.

Oh, wait.