Let's Go There.

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Was Sanjaya Unavailable?

Never In Our Life Have You Seen Anything So Hott...

Knut excluded. This Prince video is probably the hottest thing ever put to film. From the perfectly executed dance moves to the Batman logo, Prince cannot be duplicated. Watch this video and *marvel*. Then watch it again. And again.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill, Kill!

He may not look so fierce, but Knut knows exactly what he's doing. The Latina gang killing machine is gearing up for a full-frontal assault, and this time he's not going to spare *anyone*. G-Unit, watch your back.

Muy, Muy Caliente

Not only is Holly Madison among the world's most perfect women, but she loves also loves the animals! Absolutamente, we're going vegan now. And lesbian. And we're going to start wearing argyle sweaters more often. One can never have enough of Holly's influence in one's life.
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Weekend (Exceedingly Hott) Brandon

Why were Las Latinas previously unaware of this videos existence? Brandon is at his peak hottness. Please enjoy.

Because We Must Pay Tribute to the OC

And because it's only a truly prestigious group of people who got the reference in this video. But even if it doesn't make sense, it's still bizarrely hilarious - just be sure to watch until the cops at the end.

Still on the lookout for YouTube of "The Prince Show."

Close Call: Tara Reid

Las Latinas aren't sure what else Tara could have done to receive pure praise from us today, as opposed to the cautionary "Close Call." Even the girls in the background are perplexed by how put-together she looks.

In fairness, our anti-Reid bias is strong and will probably never completely disappear, so Tara shouldn't worry too much about our scrutiny. What she does need to focus on is making sure her repaired boobs and stomach stay healthy and hidden.

Good job, sweetie.

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Muy Malo or Genius?

"The Scotsman is reporting that the original cast of 'Trainspotting' will be returning to reprise their roles, including Ewan McGregor, who has been busy doing more conventional Hollywood fare [and] had made public comments indicating that he would not return."

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God Must Have Spent a Little Less Time on You

Reichen Eurolastname brought a new, bleh gay pal to the premiere of "Redline" (we're not seeing it, either, but it'll probably break some April box-office record).

True, Lance Bass is far from the hottness, but this guy strikes us as a waxy, faker (!!) version of Jesse Metcalfe, so good luck with that, buddy.

But in case you're wondering: yes, we'd squeeze them in for some QT if asked.

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Credit Where It's Due: Ashlee Simpson

Do we honestly like her? No. Must we confess secret admiration for most of her songs? Yes. Are we fascinated by her openly dating a blatantly gay man, Pete Wentz? Obvi. Does her new nose annoy us? A little.

Nevertheless, we put our feelings aside and judge "the look": dos thumbs up.

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The L Word

Katie's Body Starts to Reject Scientology Spell

Nice face, Kat(i)e Holmes.

And since when does Tom drive?

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So Over the Top and It Feels So Good

Bella J-Lo on Wednesday's American Idol:

Boring, Twist-less News Stories

Rachel Weisz finally reads a "Mummy" script.

Is there room for Stabby Bear???

Shia LeBeouf, Avril, Scar.Jo, and Swan Princess to appear on SNL in April.

And then there was Oprah: Imus is effed.

The Sorting Hat Says: "House of Dementialor"

Britney Spears overload. And deep-fried.



(Photo credit.)

Please Take That Off Your Head

Additionally, the shirt? The one you're holding and you so obviously want to take home? It's fug. And boring. Cory, you just never learn, do you? That said, Cory's expression in conjunction with the scarf on her head make her look like a forlorn but secretly delightful medieval heroine.
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Gives New Meaning to "Kiki's Delivery Service"

Kirsten Dunst: "I drink moderately, I've tried drugs. I do like weed. I have a different outlook on marijuana than America does...I've never been a major smoker, but I think America's view on weed is ridiculous. I mean - are you kidding me? If everyone smoked weed, the world would be a better place." (More)

(Image via Gallery of the Absurd)

Lizzy the Lezzy

Las Latinas are picante happy! Meet our U.K. ally, Lizzy, a linda rebel with a heart of gold.

Obviously NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK, so don't press play unless you're wearing earphones. (Which would be sad, because few people look hott wearing those...ideally earbuds, then.)

Canada Insists on Ignoring the Bible's Teachings

First those heathens to the Norte legalized same-sex marriage, and now the closest thing they have to a celebrity couple, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams (please note the impossibility of a cute couple-name mashup), are apparently looking to bypass all customs and just get hitched in secret.

Responsible readers will probably agree with us that some random farm animal will be involved in the ceremony, because that's what happens when people are cold and socialist. Poor Recently-Resuscitated Jesus!!

Las Latinas are the queens of social order and papal decrees, so we are not happy with this story.

Nevertheless...Regina George IS bigger than Jesus, we assume, and when her hair is not dyed pink, hotter than Pope Benedict XVI.

So eff our initial hesitation: hooray for McGosling! Invite us to the wedding, whities, and we'll bring the shot-making skillz and feather-boa limbo kit. And our Plastics undies, obvi.

Music Makes the People Come Together

Madonna and Justin Timberlake were seen leaving a London studio while collaborating (allegedly) on Her Madgesty's new album. Timbaland, Pharrell, Stuart Price, and Felix da Housecat are also supposed hired guns.

Las Latinas are all for it. JT continues to impress us with whatever distorted-voice crap he put out in his last album. (If you cannot squeeze into some hot pants and give a cheap lap dance while listening to "Damn, Girl" you are NOT one of us.) And Madonna's "duet" with Britney was fun and whatevs, so maybe this time she'll nail it.

One humble request, though: tell Nelly Furtado to sit this one out.

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Howard K. Stern Realizes He May Have Had Repeated Sex With Kim the Assistant, Instead

Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend Larry Birkhead said that DNA tests have proven he is the father of her infant daughter.

Howard K. Stern, ANS's fugly former attorney, imaginary sex partner has said he will not contest paternity nor seek custody of the (beware: understatement of the year follows) genetically-disadvantaged baby, Dannielynn.

Meanwhile, Britney Spears is available to baby-sit, y'all.

No es Bueno: Amanda Bynes

Uy, this is a painful moment in Our Lips Don't Lie history.

Caveat: we like Amanda Bynes. How can you not? She was in "She's the Man" and "What a Girl Wants," two cute (when the viewer indulges in nature's best, perhaps) movies that we turn to when our gang-ravaged souls need healing. Plus, Amanda knows Jennie Garth. For what that's worth. So that's what we like about her.

Still.

Turning 21 does not give you an excuse to unleash your eww hair, ack skin, and bizarro eyes upon the populace. One of Bynes's greatest claims to fame was her ability to peacefully deal with Nick Zano while looking real and healthy. Her sobriety. Her traditional use of a mirror.

Come back to us, Amanda.

P.S. What's the caloric content of the butter in that mediocre-looking cake? We venture to say the same as whichever you applied on your face for this special occasion.

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Isla Bonita Buenas Noches!

La la la, cha cha cha: SUPER CALIENTE! Jennifer Lopez is the "guest coach" tonight on a Latin(a)-themed American Idol.

Las Latinas cannot wait, obvi. Will La J-Lo teach Eyebrows Menudo how to shake it like Ricky Martin? Can our Melinda Doolittle sing AND balance a pineapple on her head? Perhaps Blake will crawl on all fours and drink from a Mojito helmet?

The anticipation is killing us.

(Unrelated: J-Lo's first Spanish album, "Como Ama Una Mujer," sold 49,452 copies. The album finished at No. 10 for the week, behind a repackaging of Elton John's greatest hits.)

Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

"Guys Gone Wild 2" Now More Likely Than Before

Best Week Ever provides the graphics; Access Hollywood the words.

Las Latinas buy some tequila and provide the obligatory celebration.