No es Bueno: Dakota Fanning

If you thought we'd take it easy with child actors, or ignore them altogether, you've been wasting your time enjoying the wrong blog.

Fair enough: If we had been famous when we were 13, the pictures of our wearing shocking-pink curlers, shorty-short jean skirts, fishnet stockings, a pierced bellybutton, a crack pipe, and carrying a huge bottle of bubble-blower solution would've been slightly humiliating.

But the internets were merciful back then.

Dakota, regretfully, is not as lucky. She's less irritating now that Abigail Breslin is around,* but we still fear her.

That is why we must - cautiously - chastise her for dressing up like the Ghost of Sarajevo Gypsy Christmas. Even Virginia Madsen is laughing at her, though Dakota thinks Virginia's laughing with her after the former told the joke about how Tom Cruise's camel toe had to be constantly disguised with CGI during "War of the Worlds."

(Source)

*Never forget:

Journalism

We can see it now:

Lifetime decides to greenlight the next big made-for-TV movie. Starring Abigail Breslin as the now-girl, Paw Prints on My Heart tells the chilling story of how a chihuahua's brave actions saved a life, but also marked a soul.

Following her sex-change op, allowing no men to approach her, Abigail's character comes to understand that a snake is not always a metaphor, and that letting others in is - ultimately - life's true, beautiful blessing.

Roma Downey co-stars.

The inspiration.