The Contrast, or, How to Lose Yourself Completely in The Fug

Clearly they're both trying really hard.

Jesse Metcalfe, who was once pretty cute and surely doable on Desperate Housewives, now looks like Britney Spears's next-door neighbor from way back when, a childhood friend who called her up a few days ago because he drove all the way to L.A. and is looking to make it big as an Eminem-mentored rapper with a heart of gold. He believes his first single could be a remixed version of Carrie Underwood's "Jesus, Take the Wheel," feat. Pharrell and Timbaland.

And then there's David Beckham. Honestly, he could wear a giant placenta and we'd figure out a way to use it in the bedroom. In the abstract, the camo shorts, hair, and sunglasses are open invitations to stab a guy in the ass cheek, but Becks just makes it work. Las Latinas would personally fund scientific research towards finding a cure for the mysterious "I'm unable to transform into Beckham's coffee-lid at will" syndrome. It makes a bit of sense and you know it.

His voice, however, is a little annoying and that's where the popsicles would come in handy.

Reality As We Know It

Not that you could have forgotten, but redundancy is inapplicable to Posh and Becks - Victoria Beckham: Coming to America begins tonight on NBC. Here's the queen on The Today Show.



We wonder if Matt Lauer, after his recent series of trashy interviews, has finally understood that Meredith Viera brought The View to NBC, far worse than anything Katie Couric brought to CBS's news division.

In some way related: why weren't we mentioned in this article? Infrequent posting can't be a cardinal sin.

Finally, our next favorito show has been announced - Snoop Dogg and his family are getting their own reality series on E! Entertainment Television.

Surprisingly Tempting Threesome of the Week

Si, si, si - there are several Latinas here at OLDL, which technically means an orgy, not a threesome, would ensue.

But we doubt these Brits (like most) could handle more than one Latina at a time, so we wanted to ease into them.

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Breaking News: Las Latinas Choose to Not Buy That Hair Dye and Instead Just Jump to Some Sweaty Humping

YUM.
Hate the hair color, don't care about the fact that Real Madrid beat Sevilla, impressed by the pole dancing, drawn to the torso, ready to get down to business.

(Source)

No es Bueno: David Beckham

Las Latinas didn't realize that Lenny and Forrest Gump had a gay cousin.

(Posh still - barely - manages to get away with most.)

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