She's Spent More Time Face-First in Joel Madden's Lap

A pregnant Nicole Richie faced the music for her wrong-way DUI bust in December -- her second DUI conviction in 4 years. A court commissioner sentenced Richie to serve four days in the City or County Jail -- she got credit for a fifth day, for the six hours she served after being busted.

Nicole was also fined $2,048, was ordered back to school for 21 days to an alcohol education course, and on three years probation. Richie must report to serve her time by September 28.

BORING.

It's undeniable that if a pre-Academy Award Jennifer Hudson, *for instance*, had been caught driving in the wrong direction and high on everything the local pharmacy has to offer, she would've been jailed for months.

Hilary Duff, Madden's ex, must be equally displeased. She was probably hoping Nicole's incarceration would've led to some hot makeup action. And TMZ was hoping for the racy video.

Mama, Can You Hear Me?

Break out the pastel-colored baskets, blow up some balloons, and prep the preemie ICU: Nicole Richie is preggers.

The father is Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden. Probably.

2008's "Mother of the Year" award is unquestionably reserved for Nicole. And can you IMAGINE having Paris Hilton as an aunt? If we were a mini-Richie, we'd put a saddle on Paris's chihuahua and ride it until Hilton agreed to buy us a villa. Some herbs might also do.

Congratulations, Nicole - Las Latinas wish you health and success.

Though we wonder if your tummy is more the result of swallowing some drug-filled pellets and not of fertile love.