Stars Are Blind to Paris's Suffering

Before checking into jail (not a Hilton, but not quite rehab, either), Paris decided to steal the show by attending the MTV Movie Awards. We wish someone had told her that it doesn't take much to steal a boring, irrelevant, endlessly-repeated show, but whatevs.

At any rate, the night's hostess, Sarah Silverman, decided to stick it to the worst celebutard of our generation, and we liked. So did Eva Mendes and most people in the audience.

Though we hope Paris comes out of jail with a giant tattoo of God's vagina on her face, we know better. Perhaps she'll at least gain some weight after eating all those turkey boloney sandwiches, driving Nicole Richie to insanity once the latter realizes it's no longer hott to be daddy's little walking ribcage.



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MTV Fights Losing Battle Against Irrelevancy

Sarah Silverman is not magic, and these are the worst nominations ever.

March Madness Done Right: Welcome to the Happiest Hour

¡Hola, sexy beasts! Put down your coffee and wheel over your office chair - it's time to introduce ourselves.

This is your new home page, obvi, so assume the position and put that finger on your mouse. Before you refresh your screen already hoping for a new post, here's what Las Latinas are all about. Or, our obsessions. Like 'em or not, we at least know we share Heidegger's passions.

Brangelina. Brandon Flowers (why: his voice, his appearance...the list does not go on and on). LL. Beyoncé. Julian McMahon. Hayley Rey. Kitties, cats, katzes. Holly Madison. Engaged and Underage (hell, most shows on MTV). Jigsaw and his ilk. Sean Faris. Awards Season. Rosie O'Donnell/The View/Rosie's blog. Most things gay. Tattoos on shoulder blades.

The list is not exhaustive, but we felt the need to warn you in advance. Our coverage will be vast; our affair with pop culture shall never be extinguished. Irreverence and randomness = the hottest sashes. Yeah, we spell hott with two Ts.

(Oops, we didn't mean to stab you, but you *are* wearing Uggs.)

We're here for you, Britney, and look forward to your somersaulting back into our lives. Bring the snake.

Oh, and rarely - if ever - will we link to Pink is the New Yesterday's News, so enjoy the exception.

We faced the mean streets and lived to get drunk about it. Managing multiple browser windows is the simplest task, so no employer can deter us.

Finally, eternal thanks to Will.i.tran's name suggestion. Here's to you.

So. Dear Reader: come back soon.