Muy Caliente: Brian Joubert

Several readers may be surprised to learn that Las Latinas are big figure-skating fans. (What? Like you've ever appreciated the concept of a shoe-machete. Didn't think so.) Luckily, the 2007 Mundo Figure Skating Championships just took place, and our soon-to-be sex-slave, Brian Joubert, performed exceptionally well. (BTW: that, precisely, is what we expect after a few tequila shots, Señorito Brian.)

Well, suspend your initial disbelief; Brian, the one-kidneyed, former Miss France-banger, is here to stay, and to him Las Latinas say, Bienvenido. And to you, born-again virgin who reads at home and work, we say, "open your eyes and watch as your body melts."