I'd Like to Give Bill O'Reilly a Taste of My KNUCKLE SANDWICH!
Here it is! Rosie's greatest posts of the week. This week: "Dyke has a Y, You Terrorist! Edition."
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Weekend Brandon
"When You Were Young," Live at the Brit Awards. Las Latinas debated over whether to post this video or a video of Brandon giving an interview. As much as we love Brandon, well...he's just not the same when he's only talking. Forget the blather...we need him to sing and perform! Sing, Brandon, sing!
Her estranged husband is so much less frightening
ZOMG!!! The upside of this ungodly photo is that Perez makes Dita look like the most gorgeous creature on the planet. OK, which she would be anyway if Holly Madison, Posh and Brandon didn't already exist.
The Lone Good Thing to Come From This Movie
Today co-host Meredith Vieira hit her head on the ice rink at Rockefeller Center Monday during a live segment in which Will Ferrell was promoting his new movie, "Blades of Glory."
(For more Meredith naughtiness, go here.)
One of the Cutest Man-Slaves in Our Basement
Orlando Bloom carrying Miranda Kerr's Yorkie.
(Courtesy of CDW)
Friday, March 30, 2007
"Yeah!," I Thee Wed
Usher is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, stylist Tameka Foster, the R&B singer's spokeswoman said hoy.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Is Our Long National Nightmare Over?
TMZ tells us that someone told them that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reached a settlement in their divorce.
Apparently, K-Fed-Ex will get around $1 million. As for their two kids, Britney and Kevin will have joint custody, sharing physical custody 50/50.
Which we bet means that Kevin gets to feed them pot some days, and Brit has the option of cleaning their belly-buttons with a smooth vodka-Red Bull lotion the rest of the month.
The Latest Craze
The only fact that could make this look acceptable is if Kiki Dunst is promoting a variation on the classic game of Twister.
If that's the case, Las Latinas are praying to Dios we get "Right, Left Hands on Purpleish-Scarf-Covered Neck."
No es Bueno: David Beckham
Zarf's Mama
Best Week Ever posts a new clip from All My Children. In this installment, we get to meet Zarf/Zoe's mother, played by the same actress who played the mom on Freaks & Geeks (R.I.P.). Oh, and we learn...Z's (that's the easiest solution, no?) real name.
Worth it, obvi.
Watch!
Forget About Homeless People...Save a Show!
Per some white chick's page: "The winner receives show-saving promotion in all three of our mediums—E! Online, E! News and the Vine. Plus, I personally will deliver your show-saving plea directly to the network execs of the winning show."
Among the endangered: 30 Rock, Friday Night Lights, Gilmore Girls, HIMYM, and Studio 60.
Vote, gente!
Latinanalysis: Dolly Parton Endorses Hillary Clinton
Dolly, who's touring abroad, allegedly told a European magazine: "When I have sex with my husband these days, I fantasize I am with someone like Keith Urban or a petite, hot young woman." She added that her first crush was on a Tennessee hooker: "I thought she was beautiful. She had more hair, more color, more everything."
Michelle Rodriguez better les it up a notch pronto, or else Las Latinas will anoint Dolly our new fave woman wower.
(Photo credit: Glenn Harris / Photorazzi)
Las Latinas Grudgingly Get On The Obsessive Sanjaya Bandwagon...
Sanjayamania is a little overdone at this point, and until now, Las Latinas had steadfastly avoided joining the movement. However, after last night (Sanjayjay not even in the bottom three!), it's time to pop the cherry. And hell, if Dan Ackroyd is in on Sanjayamania, so are we.
Today's Grande Smorgasbordo
The Grey's Anatomy spin-off's tentative title: Private Practice. (Las Latinas are currently trying to come up with a worse title, but we barely speak Ingleeesh, so give us a second or two.)
A: Not the hottest idea ever. Q: What is a potential "Goonies" musical?
IF BRAVO IS STILL CASTING PROJECT RUNWAY4, THEN WHEN WILL THE NEW SEASON START??!! Putting our anger aside, we embrace the silver lining of knowing that we can attend one of these casting calls and sensibly present our raggy-mop-coconut-shells-banana-peels sun-dress collection. Here we come, Hollywood!
Otters are more secure in their sexuality than (pedo-)Republicans:
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Good Advice for Everyone
If you are in dire straits, follow this simple instruction:
See? Dumpsters often *aren't* the answer. At least she put a diaper on the baby before throwing him in though. Bitch isn't totally thoughtless.
Lo Amamos
Is Gwen Stefani turning into perfection personifed? That is, is Gwen turning into our beloved Holly Madison?? It seemed that way on American Idol on Tuesday. Gwen's "mentoring" of the contestants showed her dressed in a demure yet adorable sweater, white-blond hair and far teensier than we remembered. A Holly clone! See the below American Idol video for more proof. We can't say we blame her. Holly is a gorgeous creature and she deserves more recognition. Keep it up, Gwen, for Las Latinas heartily approve. Make more babies with Gavin Rossdale, too - but don't be *too* happy in your union with him. We still miss when you were singing about your severe insecurities with the relationship ("Ex-girlfriend" = amazing, as was "Bathwater" until Sanjaya's apocalyptic performance last night).
Muy Caliente: Martha Stewart
Las Latinas are street warlords, so we're not exactly into the whole "stay-at-home Mom" scene.
Whatevs.
We still salute power-hungry hottness when we see it.
(Source)
Credit Where's It's Due: Mary-Kate Olsen
Oh, we KNOW how shocking this (reasonably) congratulatory post is, particularly considering how MK looked a mere few days ago.
But we gotta give it to the little psycho: she looks okay in these pics. And Las Latinas will take it. It's not like we've never been there before; some mornings we get paid big buck$, while others we need to pull out the knife and stab the cheap, "unsatisfied" customer.
This is the right direction, baby. Note, also, that if you ever try to push Hobo Chic again, we will show no mercy.
(Credit)
Surprise! Las Latinas Read Books
Big day in Libro World:
Cover art for the new (and last!) Harry Potter
Oprah picks Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road'
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Petra Nemcova Finally Listens to James Blunt's Album
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt broke up, People magazine has confirmed.
Nasty bloggers (can you believe they exist??) have been pushing the story that James is playing chess (or, having sex) with Lindsay Lohan on a regular basis, but our Latina Love Liaison dismisses said rumors as "tasteless nonsense" and "drug-induced."
Which, obvi, means we now do believe LL is somehow involved.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Almost Speechless
There's not much we can say after bearing witness to Lorraine Bracco's supernova-magnitude fashion faux-pas at Elton John's birthday bash. (Which is worse than it sounds, because you have to really look terrible to stand out in that crowd.)
Damn, girl. Las Latinas have always respected and admired Tony Soprano, so on some level we should defer to his crushes and objects of protection. But after this, we're openly hoping your character gets shot in the ass in the final season.
Abrazos!
(More party pics!)
Beyonce Neophyte = Hott Recruit
This kid is the equivalent of the gaytino nephew in Ugly Betty. Prepare to be indoctrinated, amigo.
No es Bueno: La Madonna
Mama Madonna,
Don't get us wrong.
There are INDIVIDUAL elements of this..."ensemble" that we could be cool with. The argyle's cute (though Las Latinas never wear such a thing), as is the vest (but only in sub-zero regions, like Detroit).
The one true thing, however, is that this COMBINATION is more reminiscent of an exoskeleton-themed Kabbalah-blah-blah party. And to that, Las Latinas say: "No es bueno."
(Credit)
The Many Faces of Sean Faris
Why is Sean sad/high??
Las Latinas think it might be because he turned 25 yesterday. No need to stress, baby! Aren't you staying busy with a few new movies?
Fine, we'll make it all better...
Tsk tsk. See what happens when we bring the sexual healing? Pinky-swear we never intended to wear you out.
(Pics found here)
100th POST!!
In honor of our 100th post (Las Latinas are *not* as lazy as the government thought!), which is either this post or another near in date (Las Latinas *are* as self-medicated as the government thought!), we've chosen to round-up some of our favorito 6 past posts to celebrate.
Read, remember, laugh, cry, and let us know if we left out one of your faves.
Here's to another 100 hott posts!
Began. Grew, matured, peaked? Rocked again. Created semi-serious risk of litigation.
(Photo: Mohammed Salem/Reuters/Landov)
Hell, Did She Even Die??
Anna Nicole Smith died of an accidental drug overdose after she was found unresponsive at a hotel, authorities said Monday.
Broward County Medical Examiner Joshua Perper's initial examination revealed no serious injuries. There also was no evidence, either in Smith's stomach or her bloodstream, that she had taken large amounts of prescription medication.
Perper said prescription drugs, but no illegal drugs, were found in Smith's hotel room. He wouldn't identify them.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Mas Caliente
There is but una mujer in the world who rivals Posh Beckham in her perfection. That woman, Holly Madison, is Hugh Hefner's #1 girlfriend and star of the series "The Girls Next Door." If you're not familiar with her, here's a primer: Holly has it all...she's sweet, sexy, not just pretending to love Hef, smart, and clearly hates Kendra as much as Las Latinas do! Hef is not with Kendra for the conversation! Additionally, Holly's not afraid to admit that she's had plenty of plastic surgery to turn her into the hottness that she is today. We like that! Behold, Holly's transformation from Alaskan cutie to Playboy hottie. God, we love her. And okay, we'll admit it: we're just a little jealous. Sleeping with Hef might not be ideal, but living in the mansion, not having to work, and shopping and planning parties all day (Marie Antoinette party, anyone?)...amazing. Worth the old man p33n she deals with? Probably.
Then
Now!!
Muy Caliente: Brian Joubert
Several readers may be surprised to learn that Las Latinas are big figure-skating fans. (What? Like you've ever appreciated the concept of a shoe-machete. Didn't think so.) Luckily, the 2007 Mundo Figure Skating Championships just took place, and our soon-to-be sex-slave, Brian Joubert, performed exceptionally well. (BTW: that, precisely, is what we expect after a few tequila shots, Señorito Brian.)
Well, suspend your initial disbelief; Brian, the one-kidneyed, former Miss France-banger, is here to stay, and to him Las Latinas say, Bienvenido. And to you, born-again virgin who reads at home and work, we say, "open your eyes and watch as your body melts."
Poll: Worst Fergie Ferg?
You know, Fergie used to occasionally be hott. The photo at left is from a few months ago, and the face really is looking kind of cute. Of course, because this is Fergie, the pic had a darker side. Take a nice long look at the closeup...
...which reminded us of the fact that perhaps Fergie has retained some of her old methface hygiene habits. Behold the following two pics. One is several years old, and one is from a couple of days ago. Before you turn to stone, can you pick the worst FergFace? It's not so easy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
